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The Secret Family Tragedy Behind My Success
Cosmopolitan Magazine

October 2004

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When Cosmo went to interview Darius Danesh 23, we expected to hear all about his new album. But he ended up talking candidly about his father’s battle with cancer and his split from his girlfriend. If you ever doubted the cheesy Popstars comeback kid had another side, prepare to be surprised…

Interviewing Darius Danesh is always interesting, because you never know what you’re going to get. At 23, he’s already made a career out of defying preconceptions. You may have thought he was cheesier than Edam, after his toe-curling rendition of Hit Me Baby One More Time on the original series of Popstars. Or concluded he was blindingly arrogant when, after being rejected from Popstars, he proclaimed, “I’ll have a No 1 single and platinum album before I’m 35.” After which, most of the nation promptly consigned him to the pop wannabe scrapheap.

But how wrong we were. Darius made a spectacular come back – shedding his dodgy ponytail and goatee and finishing third in the first series of Pop Idol. He then spurned Simon Cowell’s offer of a recording contract, opting for a £1 million, 5 album deal with Mercury Records instead. Six months later, Colourblind, a surprisingly catchy self-penned track beat Britney to No 1. And by the end of 2003, his album, Dive In, went platinum – fulfilling the prophecy 13 years sooner than even he had intended.

Then it all went quiet. Apart from the occasional tabloid splash about his love life – he was seeing model Jacqui Ainsley until earlier this year and was recently rumoured to be dating Species beauty Natasha Henstridge – we’ve heard little of him. But let me tell you, none of what you’ve heard or seen Is the real Darius.

Sure he’s stunning to look at, energetic and talented, but the real Darius is the ordinary bloke sitting in front of me, talking about his father Booth’s struggle with cancer. He tells me about the rota his mum, Avril, 51, and younger brothers Aria, 20, and Cyrus, 9, set up to ensure his father never sleeps alone and explains why he fast-tracked the release of his single, Kinda Love, and album, Live Twice.

Darius originally wanted to put off the release, but Booth – who was given three months to live last February and has already outlived predictions – wanted to be alive to hear it. We’ve been chatting for five minutes and I’m already on the verge of tears.

Meanwhile, Darius calmly details how his father, a gastroenterologist and the man who invented the first lung and kidney machine for premature babies, came to him eight months ago and said, “Darius I’ve just found out I’ve got cancer.”

“He thought he had arthritis,” Darius explains. “He’d been self-medicating with steroid injections. But the pain didn’t go away and tests showed he had non-Hodgkins lymphoma (a form of lymphatic cancer).

“When he told me, something inside snapped,” Darius continues. “It became clear to me that nothing else mattered – my work, the lifestyle that went with it…I felt naked. Then I felt angry. Why Dad? A doctor who’s spent his life helping people? It wasn’t fair.

“Then we were told Dad wouldn’t have long to live. It’s been incredibly painful. I’ve seen my active and hardworking father lose mobility – he can’t even get out of bed. But I do feel grateful he wasn’t whipped away from us in an instant. I’ve had time to spend with him.”

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Strength from Within

When Darius was told about his dad’s illness, he was busy writing and recording his new album. He stopped everything to be with his father.

“I put my life on hold,” he says. “I started going to the hospital every day, sleeping there in the bed next to his and just talking to him – desperate to learn as much about him and his life as I can. Saying all I’ve ever wanted to say to him, you know, just how much I love him…”

Darius finally pauses, his huge eyes welling up. I ask him how he and his family are coping and he explains that they’ve pulled together to, “focus all our love and energy into Dad” and that their bonding has given him strength. But more significant is the fact his father has told him to stop putting his music on hold and get on with playing and recording.

“There isn’t a bone in my body that thought I’d actually be having this conversation. I had no intention of releasing a record or doing promotion. I wanted to spend every waking moment with my father. Then Dad turned to me and said, “Darius, I hope you’ve not stopped your music?” I said “Dad, I’ve told my manager I’m not doing anything this year.” And Dad said, “Look at me. I want to tell you something.”

“I looked into his eyes and saw that they hadn’t changed. His body might be disintegrating, but he still has the eyes of a younger man. And then he said to me, ‘I fight to live to see the achievements of my children. The day you give up, I give up.’”

“That conversation changed my life. It gave me the motivation to finish my album, because I wanted to inspire Dad. I went away and wrote the track Live Twice for him.”

Live Twice is a ballad about missed opportunities and loss which, listened to in the light of Darius’ situation, is extremely moving. “Dad cried the first time he heard it,” Darius confesses.

“Now he plays it every day as an inspiration. He says to me, ‘Darius, it is my intention to live twice.’”

As we talk, Darius never presents his family tragedy as a sob story. In fact, he’s strong, positive and quick to point out that he knows he’s not the only person who’s ever been in this situation: “We all know someone be it family or friend who has had cancer. And when you hear the “C” word, it sends shivers down your spine. But the doctors told us my father wouldn’t be here now and he still is. That alone proves there can be triumph in the face of adversity.”

And hearing his faith in the face of the impossible, it’s clear that the only thing keeping him going is hope and that, by advising him to keep working, his father knows he’s helping Darius as much as he’s helping himself. Darius’ passion for his music is what will see him through.

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Life Support

Darius arrived for our interview holding a copy of his album in one hand and a bottle of champagne his record company had given him in the other. After working a 48-hour stretch, tweaking the recording, he is clearly knackered. His hair is tousled, his chin stubbled and his feet are bare beneath his Timberland boots. With his dad and recording commitments, I wonder how there can be time in his life for anything else.

“Well there isn’t really,” he concedes. “I’ve just bought my first flat in Chelsea, which is exciting, but it needs totally renovating. The estate agent said it ‘had lots of potential,’ so it’s a building site, basically, and I’m still sleeping on the floor.”

Darius shares the flat with his best friend from Edinburgh University, Simon Kassianives, who he says is a great support. “He and I stick together through thick and thin,” Darius stresses. Simon’s a business graduate, who speaks four languages and packed in a lucrative career to become an actor. “He had a bit-part in Troy,” Darius explains. “You can see the side of his face when Brad Pitt’s just about to kill someone. When I saw it at the cinema, I just wanted to hit pause so everyone could clock hi!” Darius obviously loves the guy who has like Darius himself, “embraced his dreams and broken out of the comfort zone of the nine to five.”

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No Woman no Problem

At the moment there is no room in Darius’ life for any form of romantic relationship. “I’m not looking,” he says, then explains why he split from his girlfriend earlier this year. “I was deeply in love with my girlfriend, but our relationship ended for all the right reasons. I like to give all my relationships as much as I give everything else. Neither of us were in a position to do that at the time, but we’re still great mates.”

The more you talk to Darius, the more you begin to see how passion and commitment, be it to his family, work or relationships, are the mainstays of his life. He explains that every decision he’s ever made is a result of, “going with my heart. My dad told me the other day that he had never followed his passion to become an actor and he regrets it now. He doesn’t want me to be lying in bed saying the same to my son one day, and advises me to take all the risks I need to with my music.”

And take risks he has. Who else would have come back for more after being publicly vilified on Popstars? But Darius did, and he was only capable of taking that risk because his family was there to support him. It’s clear that his parents and brothers act as constant sounding boards, motivators and inspiration.

“At the beginning of this year, I had terrible writer’s block,” he explains. “I’d had two years’ worth of incredible experiences; relationships, people and places. My feet hadn’t touched the ground. Even though I’d be talking to my family on the phone, I realised I hadn’t actually been home enough. So I went back to Glasgow, to my mum’s cooking, my old room – all the good stuff – and I realised I couldn’t write songs because I’d lost touch with the simple things that mean the most to me, like the love of my family. Doing that enabled me to start writing again.”

Which is how we come to be sitting here, in a central London hotel suite, listening to the results of that writing – his new album. It’s strong, eclectic and likeable – and I have to say I’m impressed. None of my preconceptions before today were appropriate. Darius is upfront, grounded, intelligent and he has plenty to say that’s worth hearing. I realise that the all-important thing is that success hasn’t changed him at all. This is a guy who tells me he likes reading Cosmo on the loo, still travels by Tube and after our interview ends, rather than heading out to celebrate finally completing his album by getting bladdered with his mates, is hotfooting it to the hospital to see his dad.

And how can I be so sure all this success hasn’t changed him? Well, in February 2001 I did Darius’ first ever magazine interview. He remembered me the minute he walked in and, at the end of our interview, asks me directly if I think he’s different in any way. I tell him I remember an energetic, enthusiastic man who wouldn’t stop talking about his love of music and life, and that now, a little older, a little wiser, he’s essentially the same. What I don’t tell him is my conclusion. That Darius is very much his own man; someone going at life with utter conviction and, cheesy as it sounds, you simply can’t help loving him for it.

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